Shattered Pieces

It's not like I haven't been saying all along that it's just a matter of time unless this whole stuff collapses.

It's a lot less worse due to the fact that I've seen it coming, though. It was obvious that my life was going too good, something just had to happen yet again and ruing fucking everything. It's like a total waste that I try to get a good life going, over and over, and it's getting constantly ruined by some fucking overpowered unknown force.

"We're afraid we have to tell you that your mathematical abilities are insufficient for this job", my ass. I've seen what they do in that job, no calculating at all. All they do is just listen to people, configure their hearing devices and send them home again. It's easy, and I knew how to do it just by looking at her screen while she did it. I have to admit that it was a little more tricky to actually build those little devices, but it was my first time, and that's why I fucking go to school there, to learn how to. But no, it'd too easy to not take maths. Fuck it, honestly.

I've been talking with Elizabeth about the meaning of life, and why we actually live. Back then, I was seriously trying to convince her that life is somewhat worth living for, but oh irony, now I'm definetely on her side. I don't why I'm doing this, I don't know what's stopping me from just suiciding. I'd be done with everything, it's not like I'd actually miss stuff. Yeah, I'd lose a few friends here and there, and yes, gaming sometimes is worth living for, but really, I don't even have a girlfriend, I have nothing to basically live for. But yet again, I'm not going to suicide just yet, I know that I'm dumb enough to just try again, being the stupid human I am.

Sigh... Moving on. I've uploaded the orginal soundtrack of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale to YouTube, and yes, I know that there's still more than enough Game Facts to be posted, but as you can probably imagine I'm not really in the mood for that right now. I've also basically completed the game, even though there's an endless mode which is just as much fun as the game itself. I've also completed Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and I must say that the ending of the game is not like I'd expected it. It was brilliant to the very last minute, and I'm glad I've played the game. And ever since Mirodir bought me Blood Bowl, I've been playing that with him all the time, too.

Of course I watched some anime, too. Namely being K-ON!!, Rainbow, Highschool of the Dead and Naruto: Shippuuden. While I am writing, there's currently the German Dubbed Naruto: Shippuuden running in the TV, and I must say, the censorship is a bitch. It's not even logical what they do there, but whatever. K-ON!! is as random as always. As for Rainbow and Highschool of the Dead, the last episode of both animes is coming out, soon. So I'll finish those two. I don't know if I'll watch many more animes after that. Maybe finishing Clannad. And also Shangri-La. But then, I really got nothing more on my list. Not feeling up for Katekyo Hitman Reborn since 50% of the anime (being I think 200 episodes so far), is annoying filler and not worth watching.

My head is so full of fuck right now. I haven't put so much hatred in one blog post ever. Sadness, too, but my sadness is getting a little overwhelmed by the insane amount of anger. I could just smash everything in this very room, and still wouldn't be satisfied. I just really hate life right now. I'm honestly trying to give my best, but if everybody just keeps rejecting me, I don't know if it's all for nought.

Eh, I think that about sums it up. Good bye, and stuff.