One Nybble is half a Byte.

Hard work. I don't like it, nobody does.

I've found a job, more or less, they're willing to take me if I can prove that I'm worth taking etc. the usual stuff people do before they're willing to hire someone or so.

Well, I went there. Since yesterday, actually. Well, it's a pet shop, so I have a lot to do with them animals there. Not that I'd mind, not at all. Plus there's a really cute apprentice as well, she looks cute and she's so much fun to talk with, she told me alot about my "boss", so to make it easier for me to actually get an apprenticeship as well. I can't say I dislike the whole situation as such... but there's always a catch.

I've been thinking alot lately, and really, the only thing I do there is clean the cages, clean the floor, and clean shelves. I've been wondering if it's like that in any job offer as a retailer, and if it's really the job I'm looking for...
I don't like being yelled at after cleaning the whole shop, just to be told to simply clean it again. Do you know how much work it is to unload a whole shelf full of dogfood, about as big as the wall of my room, cleaning it, and loading it again? It took me ages, I was on the edge of flipping out, I swear. If she would've come over and told me I am supposed to do it all over I would've probably just took my bag and left.

There's so many jobs out there, I hear people talking about how much fun their job is all the time... it can't be too hard to find something like that for me, can it? I think I should just throw this one.

Well. After this last sentence I basically stood up and cried. Yeah, it's embarassing, and I don't really know why, but I went to my mother and cried, explained her the situation and whatnot. She understood it quite well, to my surprise. I've decided to ditch this "opportunity." I mean, what for? If I get the job, what then? I'm not happy with it, I'm not happy working in this job. I need another job... I'll try to get a chance to test other jobs, perhaps one I've originally planned to but was too afraid and too lazy to actually ever test... labotary assistant.

Thought about a lot of things. Maybe I'm just lazy? Maybe I'm just not willing to work? What if I'm just a crybaby and the job is easy? Things like that went constantly through my head as I was crying. I don't know if I'm dumb, but honestly, if a job makes you worry so much about life, it tends to be a bad choice to continue on that path, right?

As you might judge by that, I've felt very miserable. It hurts me to give up on the job, it feels like those two days were just wasted like that... I've grown to like that girl in particular, too, I even thought I might hang out with her outside of the job, she might be a very cool friend, but I'm supposing I'll pass out on that, too. I think I actually had a mental breakdown, I can't tell... are you supposed to know when you had that?

I don't even want to talk about games or anything right now... I've played some, sure, but I'm so out of my mind right now I... I just don't know.

I've started writing a story a while back, it's about a boy and a girl, a somewhat tragic story but I really don't want to spoiler anything if I really intend to finish it someday... Maybe I'll do just that tomorrow... or maybe not...

My head hurts, but it's no headache, I feel sick, but I don't feel like throwing up, and I feel miserable and relieved at the same time, my emotions are somewhat spinning crazy right now and frankly, I don't know what to say. I'll just call it a day.

Good Bye.