Anybody there...?
Recently, I've been very lonely. Ever since me and Tasha broke up I've been having this feeling. But about the time I met Ichirin, things started to get fun again. I actually started playing games again. I started playing games again I usually don't play. And the reason for that was Ichirin. It was so fun playing with him, but I never noticed that he was the fact it was so much fun. Usually I thought it's because of the game, and Ichirin is an extra. But I was wrong.When Ichirin and I had that fight, things started to change and life became really boring again. I suddenly didn't know what to do with all that free time I have now. I mean, I still had Mirodir, I started spending more time with him again, since we always were friends and all. And from that moment on, everything kind of started making fun again. But Miro had to work everyday and he was always online pretty late which means I had no idea what to do in the time where he wasn't around. And well, right now Mirodir's on holiday in France, which means I have basically nobody to do anything with me. Red and Vuur are constantly not there, wondering what the heck they're doing so long, but then again I know that they're often working pretty hard and long. Lukas, my cousin, is currently the only one spending time with me. He's the only one who talks to me when he comes online and plays a game or two with me. But he isn't so much into game so that's just about 2 hours of my day.
You can't imagine how many hours I sit in front of my screen, waiting for someone to chat me. Yeah, it's easy to start conversations, but I once want people to think of me first when they chat me, I want them to think "I wonder what Rio is doing...". It's a silly thing to desire, but yet that's really all I want and I only want it because I feel so lonely.
Since my mother is currently in hospital for whatever reasons, I'm all alone at home, too. Sometimes I feel like crying, and I'm just walking around in my house, doing nothing. Whenever I want to call someone, I get rejected, not the evil way, just a kind "I currently have no time, I'm sorry, we talk later!". It's not that I'm angry for that. It just hurts.
When times are hard like this you usually see who's really your friend and sticks to you, and the currently only "person" doing that is Sandy. Yes, Sandy. Sandy is the name of my cat, and for some reason she really wants to be close to me now. Whenever I leave the room she instantly follows me, she always tries to couch around me, and when I sleep she even sleeps on or next to the bed. At least someone is worrying about me. That's a good thing. That made me feel much better.
ehm al ? D:
ReplyDeletedu weißt schon das du einem, wenn man dich anschreibt, meist das gefühl gibst das du grad was besseres zutun hast. (z.B.zoggen)
und man es deswegen irgendwann aufgibt
nach zufragen was du grad tust
oder wie's dir geht ._.'
der gemeine teil D:
------------------------
zu deiner freundschaft mit Ichirin:
ich kenn ja die hintergründe nicht, will sie auch gar nicht kennen.
aber VERDAMMT noch mal du hast da echt ne macke. ôo ich glaube mich zu erinnern,
das du ein paar einträger vorher erklärt hast, das ihr nen streit dichbezüglich hattet.
und ich wette es ging um deine einstellung.
etoo, was ich dazu eig. sagen wollte, ist
das der besagte blogeintrag deine im-endeffekt-ist-es-mir-eh-egal einstellung nochmal wunderbar aufzeigt.
"But I guess that's how things are. There's no point crying about it too much, since it's my fault. Oh well."
vllt. interpretier ich da ja was falsch,
aber im grunde genommen sagt das und der eintrag von heute aus, das dir deine freunde
am arsch vorbei gehen und du sie tatsächlich nur als eine art bonus ansiehst.
und gegen das, ist deine sonstige einstellung
richtig liebreizend ôo
:x srsly sry
Das stimmt so nicht. :<
ReplyDeleteDu hast mich da falsch interpretiert, das sollte einfach nur ausdrücken dass ich nich endlos heulen will un es mir im Leben richtig schwer mache dadurch. Die Zeit als Tascha Schluss gemacht hat, die hat mich emotional so runtergezogen dass ich die Lust an ALLEM verloren hatte. Ich will einfach nicht dass sowas noch einmal passiert und versuche Dinge so zu akzeptieren wie sie sind anstatt drüber zu Heulen.
Und das trifft leider nur bei dir zu, Albi. Da du die einzige meiner Freunde bist die mir in MSN schreibt, mal abgesehen von Jenny, siehst du nicht wenn ich ingame bin, un ich seh nicht dass du mich angeschriebn hast. Normalerweise antwort ich jedem sofort, da ichs ingame sehe, aber auf diese Weise, naja.
Außerdem kommt es auch ab und an mal vor dass ich nich am Computer bin und esse oder fernsehe, also tuts mir Leid wenn ich nich immer instant antworten kann. :<
Considerably, this post is really the sweetest on this notable topic. I harmonise with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your incoming updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the phenomenal clarity in your writing. I will directly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Admirable work and much success in your business dealings!? Please excuse my poor English as it is not my first tongue.
ReplyDelete